31/31 Things: Where will you be?

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

31. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

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(Image credit)

I used to really really REALLY like these kinds of questions.

Then my life took too many turns in directions that I hadn't "foreseen" my life taking!

Then I decided that it is still good to have GOALS of the path you would like your life to take.

So these are my goals and desires, but I'm not gonna expect it to happen this way!

5 Years

It will be the year 2018!

I hope to be the wife of a "doctor who doesn't help people"!

(If you've read this book you understand the quote)

I hope to have at least a second child in the family.

I hope that Ellie will choose to be baptized.

I hope that we will be debt free or pretty darn close to it!

I hope that Mr. Dawson will have a job, whether or not he loves it is a different story. =)

We will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary!

I hope to still have a violin studio, though I wouldn't mind if it was less than 15 students!

I really hope that we are enjoying where we live!

I hope that I have run a half marathon!

10 years

It will be the year 2023!

Um, that's just strange to think about!

Ellie will be 13!

A teenager!

I sure hope that we can communicate well with each other and not get on each other's nerves!

I hope that Mr. Dawson has a job that he loves.

I hope that we have gone on a second cruise or traveled somewhere in Europe!

I hope that we are 100% debt free!

I would really like to own a house.

I would love to still have a violin studio or maybe be a substitute teacher for music classes!

I would love to have seen a concert in Carnegie Hall!

Maybe Mr. Dawson will create the most awesome of awesome computer program or app!

Maybe I've written a book!

We will be the most loving family in the city, even if the kid(s) hate it!

15 Years

It will be the year 2028!

Ellie will be 18! 

She will have graduated from high school and be starting college!

Maybe even considering serving a mission for our church!

I hope she is choosing the most awesome college for her and that she has a blast!

We will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary, and hopefully in style!

I hope that we have a house of our own.

Maybe it's the house that I designed and the one we will grow old in!

I hope Mr. Dawson LOVES his job.

I hope that we have two cars.

I hope that I am not completely gray....though I bet that might not happen!

I hope that Ellie talks to me about her life, trials, sorrows, boys, and excitements.

I hope that we can travel places!

I hope that we are in the best shape we can be in and that our bodies are healthy!

Can you imagine where you might be in 5, 10, or 15 years!?

30/31 Things: Passions

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

30. What are 5 passions you have?

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Last night I double checked my passions with Mr. Dawson by asking, "What are my passions?"

Apparently he knows me very very well!

1. Reading 

2. Finding a way to make a baby join our family

3. Teaching

4. Popcorn

5. Cheesecake

I realize they aren't as "deep" as some peoples passions are, but currently this is what I obsess over!

29/31 Things: Lessons of Life

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

29. Things you've learned that school won't teach you.

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I've learned that God loves me, I am His daughter and He knows all of my trials, sorrows, pains, and aches.
I've learned that God knows more about me than I currently know about myself, and He will only give me challenges that He knows I can handle. 
I've learned that when both parties in a marriage want it to improve and want the love to grow, it can!
I've learned that no matter how often I get my blood drawn I'm still a wimp.
I've learned to trust myself and not worry about others thoughts towards my life, appearance, and decisions. Only I know why things in my life are the way they are. =)
I've learned to trust in God's timing, while doing my best to allow/help His timing in my life.
I've learned a lot more....but I'd rather not overwhelm you!
=)

28/31 Things: To News or Not to News

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

28. Why you do or don’t watch the news.

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I don't watch the news.

I can't handle it.

It makes me so sad, depressed, anxious, and scared.

I don't live too naively, but I am do like to have some naivety.

It helps me sleep at night.

It helps me not be too paranoid.

I always strive to be constantly aware of what is happening around my immediate surroundings.

If it isn't happening within a 50 miles radius of where I am living, my family members are living, or where I will be traveling to, I am probably semi oblivious to it.

Judge as you may, just don't tell me!

This is just what works for me.

27/31 Things: Summer Reading

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

27. What is your summer reading list?

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The summer is done.

Whoops!

Wanna know what I read and my personal opinions about them!?

Of course you do!

In no particular order:

1. The City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau

   The City of Ember wasn't too bad. But it wasn't a favorite of mine. I tried reading the second book in the series, and I couldn't finish it. It's just way too dry. Maybe if I were in 5th grade it would be interesting.

2. I Am Number Four by Pittacus Lore

   I thoroughly enjoyed this book. And as always, I think I enjoyed it better than the movie! I loved the twists and facts that were in the book and not in the movie. I am about ready to start the second book of the series and am totally excited for it!

3. The Infernal Devices #1, #2, & #3,  by Cassandra Clare

   To be honest, I don't normally read these kinda of books. It had vampires, werewolves, demons, demon hunters, faeries....basically lots of mythical creatures and humans too! NOTHING LIKE TWILIGHT. Just in case you were concerned when you read the words, "vampire and werewolf". =) I was skeptical at first, but I really enjoyed it! I had a hard time putting down the books! For my sister who has nightmares from watching semi-scary movies....I wouldn't suggest reading these, unless you plan on reading them during the day. Parts of the books can be pretty intense! I must also mention that there is one part in each book, maybe just the 2nd and 3rd I can't recall, but there is a "scene" in at least two of the books. Being a married woman, I thought they were tactfully written and not as grotesque as the twilight scenes were written. So if I weren't married, I'm not sure what would cross my mind. I can't wait to start the next series Cassandra has written!

4. The Selection #1 & #2 by Kiera Cass

   I ABSOLUTELY ADORE these books! I can't wait for the 3rd book! Kiera has written novelas that go between each book, and I have yet to read those. But from what I hear they just explain a different characters side of the story a bit more than the main book does! Pretty awesome! This is definitely teen lit with lots of girly sappy love story stuff going on. My FAVORITE kind of book! =)

Let me know if you have read any of these, or plan too, and what you thought of them! Also let me know if you have any suggestions for other books to read!

25/31 Things: Defining Moments

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

25. What was one of the most defining moments of your life, perhaps a moment that changed you forever, a moment that took you down a different course, anything.

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I've been trying to write this post for over 2 weeks now!
I was trying to formulate the correct words and sentences to be able to really write about the experiences that changed my life.
There are 2 experiences that I KNOW changed me forever.
And yet, because of the sensitive and personal nature of the experiences, I haven't been able to completely figure out how to tell an unknown audience about them. 

But here is the sum up:
I was faced with a very hard decision twice in my life.
Summer of 2009 and Spring 2012
Revolving around the same topic.
This is when I learned and relearned about the truth of forgiveness.
But not only that.
I learned that I can do hard things.
I learned SO much more about myself than I knew previously.
I learned that I don't need to rely on others to make my life go round,
I truly can take care of myself and be independent.
I learned of God's love for me, and how strong that is.
I also learned how much He loves ALL of his children.
I learned that trust is precious, more precious than all the riches in the world.
I learned that trust is easily lost, but it can be earned back, slowly.
I learned that when I love, I love deeply and with my whole heart.
I learned that because I love with my whole heart, when it breaks it's more of a shatter.
It's painful and terribly hard to put back together your heart when it shatters, but it is possible to do it!
(Especially with the help of our Father.)
I have learned that no matter what hardships come my way, I can and WILL make it through the storm.
I can do hard things!

26/31 Things: Getting Older

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

26. What are the signs, to you, that suggest you are getting older?

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I have grey hair.

Seriously

At least 20 or more strands

If I part my hair on the right side you can see them

Mr. Dawson wants me to be honest....

Only if you are deeply looking at my hair can you see them

They aren't immediately noticeable.

Oh, and the fact that all the kids I baby sat are now 16-20....

That can really make you feel old!

24/31 Things: Blog Name

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

24. How did your blog get it's name?

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When I started college I decided that I needed a way to keep my family up to date on everything.

Plus a blog seemed like a cool thing to start!

I was at Family Home Evening and we were playing a game that involved toothpicks.

We each started out with a certain number of toothpicks

Then we each took turns standing in the middle admitting something that we thought everyone else had done.

If someone had done what you said you hadn't they gave you a toothpick.

At the end, the person with the most toothpicks was the winner.

Well, my statement was, "I have never been kissed."

Practically everyone gave me a toothpick!

And many people were shocked.

It was at this event when a boy mentioned my teeth, possibly when I was standing in the center,

I can't remember exactly

But the mentioned that my teeth were perfectly white and straight and that I must have been a model for crest toothpaste.

I played around with that comment for a bit.

When I was creating my blog address that's what I came to mind!

"crest model"

23/31 Things: Instant Gratification

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

23. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

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I am changing the prompt and looking at it this way:

"What are the 5 thing that WILL make you the most happy right now?"

That one word addition makes it soooo much more fun to write about!

1. Taffy Apple Pizza

2. Knowledge of how NOT to retain water when losing weight

3. Finished scripture journal project and Ellie's chair painting project

4. Nothing to do but read my books

5. An organized master bedroom

22/31 Things: Letting Go

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

22. React to this term: "Letting Go".

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I hate those words, "Letting Go"

They always seem to have a negative connotation.

Though, I do see how it can be good at times. 

Letting go of feelings of anxiety, hate, anger....

And let's be honest.

I struggle with letting things go at times!

=)

21/31 Things: Musical Memories

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

21. Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use YouTube to include them in the post.

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I am going to skip this post.

I know.

Party Pooper.

Speaking of which, watch this!

The reason for skipping is because I have too many songs that speak to me, or bring back memories!

Music is my life....

AND

Each day I have different pieces that speak to me.

Unfortunately they do not always remain poignant in my life.

P.S. Sorry if you took offense watching that video. I think it's hilarious!

20/31 Things: Forgiveness

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

20. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

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You know how you read blogs, or just look at other couples, and it makes you feel insecure? That voice in your head saying, "They seem happier than you do. More fashionable. More compatible. More fertile. They probably make a lot of money. They probably make love five times a week. I bet she's a better wife, and doesn't complain. I bet he always remembers to take out the trash." 

And on and on...

Well, some of those things are true! Maybe at that moment in time they actually are happier than you. Maybe they have figured something out that you don't know. I don't know how those hypothetical couples can be so perfect. All I know is my relationship. And let me tell you, marriage is not always bliss. Did you expect that from me? 

I know, I know. You ALL think I have the most perfect life that is amazing and happy. But let me tell you, Mr. Dawson and I have been through it all in the past 4.5 years. Only a few people know the full story. Would you believe me if I told you that after 6 months of marriage we were instantaneously hanging on my a thread, maybe 4 threads? It's true. There were lots of tears, anger, compassion, prayers, doubts, tweaking this thing, tweaking that thing. It was only a little over a year ago that threads started being picked up and bound together. We had lots to pick up, discard, and create. We had had over 2 years of a continuous roller coaster marriage. 

I only share this with you now because I think that now that we have had a little over a year with no threads threatening to break, I think we have come out on the other side! (And you thought you knew everything about us by reading this blog? Proof that blogs are just a peek at someones life!)

I am not going to specifically list all the things that were hard for me to forgive, as I know Mr. Dawson can most assuredly recall things that were hard for him too, but I do want to share this:

It's okay if your life doesn't look like a fairy tale. I betcha no ones does. Ever notice that the Disney movies don't ever portray the drama that happens after marriage? They never talk of cohabiting with someone, struggling through overcoming a habit that is toxic to the relationship, changing individually and together, and continuing to find that love amidst the change and hard times. It makes sense as to why the divorce rate is so high! Marriage is hard work! The way "work" looks is different for everyone. And depending on the circumstances it may be harder hard work for some. As long as you still have real love for each other, I know that the hard work and change it takes to make a marriage work is worth it.

I am totally not advocating that you stay in any relationships that may bring physical harm to you or that  may make you miserable and bring you down. That is completely different. And I believe that is not a relationship worth staying in. There were times, in the darkest of the times, that when I asked myself if I still loved Mr. Dawson and if I should keep working to work things out, that I knew WITHOUT hesitation that the answer was a resounding YES! When I asked him those same questions, he would answer the same. So we knew that we could do it, that he was worth it, that we both knew our relationship was worth it. When your hearts aligned, you find a way to make it. Your love for each other becomes deeper, more real, full of respect, and honest.

19/31 Things: Favorite Blogs

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

19. Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them.

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1. A blog about love

I love this blog because it's raw.

Also because it's about love!

Loving others, loving yourself, finding peace/God's love amidst turmoil!

It's amazing.

2. My name is Jacy

I love this blog also because it's raw.

Jacy is an amazing lady who has been through some crazy trials!

Her blog is all about helping others find peace and love and strength amidst their trials!

Also about being a better you!

3. Feigning Fertility

I think it honestly speaks for itself! 

I love that she is so honest about being a stay at home mom as well!

4. Make It and Love It

I love how creative she is and all the good ideas I get for things to make!

Needless to say, she has some amazing halloween costume creations!

5. Lisa-Jo Baker

Again, it's raw!

She is all about strengthening mothers/women.

Her thoughts and ideas are amazing.

I find myself agreeing with almost everything he says!

These are just 5 out of the probably 15 blogs I daily peruse!

18/31 Things: Religious Beliefs

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

18. Share your religious beliefs and how you came to believe in them.

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I know that this subject can be very touchy. 

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs.

And because everyone is entitled to their own beliefs I am allowed to share mine!

But in attempt to prevent snarky comments from being posted, please think on this:

I am sharing my beliefs because it is part of who I am.

And I want people to better understand it!
I came to believe in this church by searching for answers, praying, and trusting in our Father.

I am not perfect, nor are the people who belong to my church.

We are ALL imperfect people trying to do the best we can while trying to follow our perfect example, Jesus Christ.

So please don't leave rude comments, 

I will take matters into my own hands and delete them if they are truly hateful and disrespectful.

I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

Simply stated,

I am a Mormon.

I know that Christ walked the dusty roads of Palestine teaching how to return back to our Heavenly Father!

I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior, my Redeemer, the son of God, and my older brother!

I know he lives!

I know that He suffered and was crucified for my sins, sorrows, and pains!

I know that He understands every trial and fear that comes my way!

Because I know this I am able to turn to Him when I am in need of comfort and guidance!

It is through His mercy and grace that I can be saved, as long as I do my very best here on earth!

I know, by reading, study, and prayer, that the Book of Mormon is a true and correct book!

When I read it I feel good and am at peace with my life!

I know that it was written by people who lived in the Americas around 600 BC-400 AD.

I know that this book was translated by Joseph Smith by the help of God!

And through this knowledge I have come to know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the true church on this earth!

I know that we have a living prophet who guides us!

I know that our prophet receives direct revelation and guidance from our Heavenly Father!

I know that we are ALL children of our Heavenly Father!

I know that he love each and everyone of us!

No matter our race, circumstances, political stance, and everything you can think of that makes us unique!

17/31 Things: Favorite Photo

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

17. A favorite photo of yourself and why.

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These are my two favorite pictures.
The first, maybe because it was just spur of the moment, caught having a good time with Ellie.
I also think that I had recently had my hair done!
=)

This second picture because I love it!
I was so proud of myself with doing my own hair and make-up and how well it turned out!
But I was also so comfortable in this picture, it is genuine and not posed.

Do you have any favorite pictures of yourself?

16/31 Things: Lot in life

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

16. Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it.

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I've been debating about this post for some time.

Initially I thought that this topic would be great because then I could talk about infertility stuff, 
living in Kansas, being the wife of a PhD student....things like that.

Then I decided that the term "lot in life" sounded really depressing.
Depressing in the complaining way of life.

It's so easy to complain about things, especially when your "lot in life" looks gloomier than a friend's.
The mentality of "The grass is always greener somewhere else"!

In the midst of this decision I was reading a book 
(not the kind that usually inspires you to improve your life)
And I came to this realization, again:

Have you seen this one floating around pinterest? 

I absolutely love it!

So with out going on the route of naming all the things that appear to be my "lot in life" and what I am doing to specifically over come them I am taking my own personal challenge and taking this image from pinterest and making it my motto:

I AM going to become the most amazing me that stops viewing things as a "lot in life" but rather a challenge that will produce the endings I am longing to see.

And during those challenges that may come my way I will turn to the Lord when I am in need of strength and support because he LOVES to give us guidance and always wants what is best for us!

This is what I am doing to overcome any challenge that may seem like my "lot in life".

15/31 Things: Happy

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

15. Ten things that make you really happy.

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1. Chocolate

2. Rain

3. Books

4. Kisses (from Ellie and Mr. Dawson)

5. Sunshine

6. Starting a project

7. Cleaning/organizing a room

8. Playing games

9. Receiving compliments

10. Painting the nails on my right hand perfectly

=)

14/31 Things: Public Apology

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

14. Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

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My darling husband, 

I need to apologize for two things....

1. The stink in the bathroom

2. My hair

You see, I couldn't help myself yesterday!

I just HAD to paint my toes.

They were getting long, gross and they were chipping...

So I just hunkered down and conquered!

But then I decided I wanted to paint my finger nails

(something I don't normally do)

Sorry that I doubled the normal amount of stench!

I will do better about finding a place that allows better air cycling next time!

=)

And for my hair....well that's a hard one...

You see, I just can't control this mane that constantly sheds!

I am sorry that it is all over the floors, clogging drains, in our bed, and even embedded in your clothes!

ugh

SO EMBARRASSING!

I am ready to just chop my hair off so that the hair that falls out is shorter and less of an irritating mess.

But then I have to figure out what hairstyle works and doesn't.....which one you would like....

Then I remember that I was wanting to grow my hair out, so the long shedding hair remains.

You see, it's this constant internal battle about my hair that I haven't found the solution for yet!

I am sorry that you are caught in the middle of this tangled mess.

I feel so much better that this is out in the open now!

=)

Love you Babe!

p.s. Sorry about the funky font....I've tried to fix it, but it just isn't working!

13/31 Things: What do you do?

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

13. If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

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This is a little tough cause I obviously know that "teach violin" is my job, so I can't answer that.

But I do play the violin, not for a job.

I am a mother.

A job in which I am not monetarily paid.

I am a wife.

Again, a job in which I am not monetarily paid.

I am a Young Women Leader.

I work with and teach the girls in my church ages 12-18.

I am not paid to do this.

I am a taxi driver.

Not as intensely as some, but I still shuttle Mr. Dawson around at times, and Ellie too!

Again, not a paying job.

I try to make breakfast, lunch, and dinners for my little family.
I'm no chef, but it takes time to do this.
Not paid.

So I guess what it comes down to is how you define "job"
And in all truthfulness I think that a "job" usually falls into something you don't enjoy.
I ENJOY everything I do!

Sometimes it may take me a few hours or days to realize I do enjoy it, =)
But I honestly enjoy everything that uses my time everyday!

What do I do?

I am a wife, mother, teacher, friend, and confidante.

12/31 Things: Fantasy World Loves

{To know what I am talking about, and to see past 31 Things posts, start here...}

12. In a fantasy world, forget about spouses and loves, if you could fall in love with a movie, book, or tv character, name 5 you would choose. Not the actors but the movie characters.

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This is the order in which I would choose, if I had to! 

=)

1. Gilbert Blythe

From Anne of Green Gables and I think I have ALWAYS had a little crush on him!

2. Theodore 'Laurie' Lawrence

From Little Women

3. Bruce Wayne

From Batman

4. Luke Matthews

From Invaluable

5. Steve Rogers

From Captain America