Saying It Loudly, So Others Know They Aren't Alone

Today, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance/Awareness Day. I had no idea about this until a few weeks ago! I also found out that there is a thing called the Wave of Light. October 15th, 7-8pm in the time zone you are in, you light a candle and keep it burning in memory of a loss. This creates a wave of light around the world!

I wish I had known about this! Why don't we talk about things like this!? Why don't we celebrate life as soon as you find out you're pregnant? That way if you do miscarry you have shoulders to lean on, people to support you. This way we know that people have experienced the same/similar pain we have, we are not alone.

For anyone who happens upon my very unpopular blog, I want you to know that you are not alone. I want you to know that loss is hard, no matter what stage you are in. You will never forget, and those that you confide in will always be there to support you and help you as you remember and recall your turmoil. 3/6/13 and 11/20/13, these dates will always be hard, but I have grown so much and have increased my circle of sisters who also understand the turmoil as I have spoken out about my experiences.

Tonight, I lit my candle in remembrance of my children that I never knew, and took an extra moment to delight in the miracle child that I do have.

General Conference Traditions

Dear readers,

Are you still there? Sorry it has been over 2 months since I've written. I actually have one post stuck in draft form and another stuck in my head. I can't come to write/post them. They are more personal than anything I have ever written and don't know if I can publish them to be available by anyone with internet access in the world. We will see. Until then, here is a lighter post with pictures!

General Conference was this past weekend and we have some fun traditions we want to share!

We build a bed out of blankets!     Set a specific candy for a word, when spoken we get to eat it!

We make the Dawson ham, cream cheese, and pickle snack! TOTALLY delicious!

Mr. Dawson and I took a guess as to who would speak in the first two sessions!

              

Ellie might have gotten a sugar high....

                                        

Cuddles with daddy

And lastly, being a dare devil with no hands!

To answer any questions, yes we really do have a TON of blankets, we also might have used our 3 body pillows to help out with the blanket bed.

No I initially didn't eat the Dawson creation. I thought it looked and sounded gross, but I have come to really like it and even crave it occasionally!

Ellie doesn't always sit still, but she gets excited for conference because we are excited, and the candy helps her to focus and sit and listen! In October I plan to add celery sticks and carrots to help tame the sugar crashes! =)

I'm Alive!

Don't worry my pretty little readers, I am alive and well!

I know it's been 2 months since I last wrote...

Lots has happened!

Both good and bad.

So I will just bullet point, and add pictures, to review.

November after the 11th, which was the last post:

*I found out I was pregnant

* I started miscarrying the night of Young Women in Excellence

This is a celebration we have for our young women in the church 12-18 and all they have spiritually accomplished in the year!

*We traveled to Colorado for Thanksgiving with Mr. Dawson's family

*Finished miscarrying the day before Thanksgiving

* Fantastic time visiting with family and relaxing

December:

*My hair was THIS long!

*I held my 3rd violin studio recital in Kansas

It also happened to be Ellie's first violin recital, spur of the moment decision on her part!

Don't worry we are working on posture! =)

*Mr. Dawson finished the semester with flying colors!

*We traveled to warmer weather and stayed 3 weeks in Arizona visiting family.

*Christmas was awesome

*My cousin got married

*We celebrated 5 years of marriage!

 *Attempted a Family Photo

 *Added another temple to our list of visited! 

The Gilbert, AZ temple!

*I also got my hair cut...as you can probably tell! =)

*We evaded the polar vortex by staying in AZ for a total of 3 weeks!

And I think that is about it!

2014 is the year!

I feel it!

It's going to be an awesome year!!! 

I can't wait to see what it brings!

5 Things I Am Grateful For!

1. I am grateful for Ellie and the joy she brings us!

Everyday she shows me something new to appreciate.

I also love the way her brain works as she discovers things.

2. I am grateful for Mr. Dawson's new job!

We have been so blessed to find a new job immediately after an old one falls through.

This time Mr. Dawson found the job before he heard that they were letting all interns and some regularly salaried people go!

3. I am grateful to belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!

I know of the truthfulness of the gospel that is taught and am so grateful to have that knowledge lead and direct my life.

4. I am grateful for my budgeting skills!

I might not be 100% perfect, but it sure has helped us make sure we save and spend money wisely!

5. I am grateful for my violin talents!

I know that these last two sound kinda snobby, but I am completely serious!

Without my violin skills I wouldn't be able to support my family with the little bits I earn each month from teaching!

Teaching Ellie

I was showing Ellie some youtube videos of a friend of mine from high school.

Maybe you've heard of her.....

Lindsey Stirling

Okay so I never actually "hung out" with her, but we were in orchestra together, I desperately wanted to be concert mistress like her, we also had a few seminary classes together.

=)

Anyway Lindsey has made quite a name for herself!

I showed Ellie some of Lindsey's covers.

Have you seen my ultimate favorite?

Radioactive

How about this one?

Crystallize

Ellie wants to do something similar to Crystallize....in her words, 

"play outside and dance, pause and build a snowman, then play violin again!"

 Lindsey's most recent video is a collaboration with John Legend!
It's totally awesome!

All of Me

Ellie kept asking or saying, "Can I do that?", "Can I play outside today?", "I want to do that!"

Can't wait to see what Ellie comes up with herself!

Cuddles

Yesterday Ellie had a fever. The biggest one she has ever had in her lifetime! 

Nothing dangerously high, but still. 

Mr. Dawson was so nice to get her breakfast ready while I slept in a bit.

Afterwards we all climbed into bed and cuddled.....for about 2 hours.

I kept thinking how nice it was to have Ellie laying still next to us and wanting to cuddle for so long!

It was a bit later when I realized that something was up, Ellie never cuddles with us for that long!

Fever story cut short, that little girl is a trooper!

She cuddled all day, took a two hour nap, even kept her diaper dry! 

And her fever broke while she was sleeping last night.

It's great to have the normal Ellie back, but yesterdays cuddles are a great memory!

It was so nice to be needed and that she just wanted to be close to us!

Even more fantastic was that we had nothing pressing us to stop, we could just enjoy the moment!

Sportsmanship

Ellie and I have been playing a lot of Candy Land recently.

She loves it because she always seems to win!

I am not even playing easy! It just happens!

This evening we were playing as a family and as soon as she started to realize that Mr. Dawson and I were so far ahead of her she "got tired".

Ellie wanted to go to bed on the couch and not play any more!

Of course being competitive parents that have been whooped by their child more than they would prefer we wouldn't allow it!

We also didn't want her to learn that should she ever start loosing in a game to just quit!

It took some time, but she managed to finish the game a happy girl even though Mr. Dawson won.

My treasures that I am so grateful for today are the opportunity to be able to sit down and play a silly game with Ellie, and that through it we can slowly teach life skills!

And to also be so blessed to have the time to play, even just one game, as a family!

3 Years

This little sweetheart turns 3 today!

At exactly 11:29am she will be officially 3!

I honestly can't believe it!

This picture was taken about a week ago, posing in the mirror with her straightened hair!

This...well...obviously this was 3 years ago

One year old!

Two years old!

I can't believe how much she has grown and changed in these past 3 years

She spells her name, albeit backwards! She still says them in a correct order!

Can write the letter "E"

She can sing so many songs from beginning to end.

She knows her ABC's 

Can almost count to 20 perfectly!

(14, 16, and 18 seem to be hard numbers to remember)

She ADORES the color pink!

Enjoys sweeping the kitchen floor.

Is learning to make up her bed, she sleeps in a twin now!

Working on being 100% potty trained, no rush, we will get there when we get there.

She still loves her lamby.

She eats more cereal than her mama can.

She is finally wearing 2T clothes, yes that's right, a whole size smaller than her age.

She loves cars, dolls, trains, princesses, baseball, soccer, shaking her booty, and fancy dresses.

She picks out her clothes with little to no guidance.

Hates brushing her hair, which means it's also very hard to do something to her hair!

She cannot wait to be a big sister someday!

Seriously, she's planned out everything that she would like to do with this future sibling!

This little stinker is the most amazing girl in the world!

We are so blessed to be her parents!

I can't believe it's been 3 years since our little miracle came into this world!

Monster University

On Saturday, I had just gotten back from a Young Women Pre-Camp camp out.

The did some certification, and stayed up till the wee hours of the morning and then we woke up as soon as the sun was up!

After I got home and showered, I decided we needed to just go out as a family and have fun!

That's when I remembered MU came out the day prior!

Off we went to the movies and Ellie loved it!

The moment Sully appears on the screen it's just his silhouette.

She recognized it and yelled, "Sully!"

Everyone around us giggled. 

I thought she was pretty cute!

At the end of the movie Ellie wanted to go down and dance....she had the most serious face!

We also took pictures with Sully and Mike!

Ellie's suggestion that she was SO excited about!

If you haven't seen it yet, I think it's worth it!

There was one point where I thought, "This isn't done yet?" 

But it was short lived!

Baseball and Painting

We went to the park when it was sunshiny a few days ago and walked through the baseball fields.

(There are four fields)

Ellie saw some boys practicing with their dads on the empty fields and thought it was cool.

The next day she brought her hat (a fireman hat backwards), 

a bat (a pvc pipe from a marshmallow gun), and a ball (a miniature beach ball) to us and wanted to play.

It took us a minute to figure it out, since she had yet to learn it was called baseball, but we've had fun ever since!

Surprisingly....Ellie has swung and hit the ball a few times!

I think I truly might have a little tom boy on my hands!

Monday and Tuesday with the rain and tornado watch we stayed mostly indoors.

And an idea struck that HAD to be done!

Watercolor painting.

We headed over to hobby lobby to pick up some watercolors, watercolor paper, and canvas!

Then we had a blast!

Ellie and I tried our hand at abstract design using not only watercolors but Elmers clear glue and table salt!

Mr. Dawson did what he does best but did branch out and used the watercolors to color it in!

 (Designed by Tresann)

(Designed by Ellie) 

 (Designed by Ellie)

(Designed by Tresann) 

(Designed by Mr. Dawson)

Happiness

A friend posted this on her blog and I absolutely loved it, so I had to share it!

image credit

I think it is perfectly stated!

There are times that I look to the future and think, "When this happens wont life be grand!"

For the past few months I've tried really hard to not plan on the future but to live in the moment,

and it has been AMAZING!!!

I honestly feel like my relationship with Ellie and Mr. Dawson has grown.

I try to "be there" and not on the computer/cellphone/ipod

It's been so fantastic "growing happiness under my feet"!

It's never too late to start!

Easter Traditions

We do things a little differently in our house, especially Easter!

On Friday we dye eggs.

This was Ellie's "first" time!

(We didn't get a chance to do it last year and she wouldn't remember her first Easter)

The next morning we do an egg hunt!

Mr. Dawson had to do some service Saturday morning so Ellie and I hid eggs for him, and a few for her!

As soon as he came home they went hunting!

Then we sent Ellie upstairs to watch a sing-a-long and we hid eggs for her.

She was fully aware that we hid eggs for her.

And she was so excited to find them all!

Every time she found one she would say, "Thank you for hiding my egg!"

Another tradition (that ended up not happening for Mr. Dawson this year) we get a new outfit for church. 

It can be a new dress, new shoes, a new shirt, a new skirt, a new tie....you get the idea.

Ellie and I got dresses.

She also got new shoes out of necessity!

=)

The eggs were hidden high and low for Ellie!

These are the eggs we dyed!

Sunday is the day we focus completely on the true reason for Easter.

Here's us girls in our Easter dresses:

This was a new recipe that I tried called "The Cake"

It was DELICIOUS!!!

And addicting!

Consider yourself warned!

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter as well!